A heavy Heart

 
So... I went to this film event about sex workers. It was really an amazing event. My eyes were opened to many new things. It is another way the right wing is destroying the world. Americans have used money to bestow their "values" world wide by requiring that programs in other countries that receive funding for the US are not allowed to support the education and safe sex practices for sex workers. And if they do they will not receive much needed funds for operation. Without the funding many programs that were working are not anymore and are leaving people at greater risk and danger.

Also the things that are happening inside the borders are ridiculous. Again we are not educating people, youth, practitioners and leaving in high risk, high danger, and low effectiveness in solving real problems in the world. ARRGGG it is with a heavy heart that I think about these things but I still have to get up day after day and am about to work in systems that fail the people they are meant to serve. We are continuously spinning our wheels and fighting the same fight over and over and over again. This angers me. Civil rights, no matter what today's date is, are the same. The parallels are endless no matter who you are taking about.

I guess that is why the heavy heart.

The other is that I am looking for my place here in Seattle. I am still a small town boy that moved to the big city. I am just trying to find my way with out losing what I is core to myself.

There were many Gender Queer folks at this event that really through me for a loop. When it really comes down to it I am a guy that likes being a guy and I like some of the gender lines but still value woman and others expression of gender. I still rely on connecting with people based on gender. I guess I really am quite conservative when it comes to alternative gender expression and sexuality. I am struggling with not knowing yet how i fit within the world. However i absolutely love Seattle and hope to live here for awhile.

Anyway those are my very rough thoughts. I am still trying to process my thoughts about the sex worker film event and my own place in the world.